Obstacles to communication
Have you ever found yourself caught in a conversation where everything is going wrong? Where everything you say is misunderstood by the other person, or where everything the other person says shocks you, and you can't explain it? Let's take a look at the barriers to communication and what we can do to improve our relationships with others and with ourselves.
The first obstacle to communication is ourselves!
Harmony between what you think, what you say and what you do
Gandhi
Have you noticed that when we have an emotion (anger, concern, sadness, etc.) and we go to talk to an employee without stopping, the conversation can turn sour? Emotions are there to help us grow and they need our attention. Otherwise, they risk taking over our interactions with others. So, even before going to meet with an employee, it's best to take care of our own emotions. It doesn't have to be long. Just a few minutes can be enough to become aware.
To become aware is take responsibility.
Just becoming aware of the emotion that is inside you will make you relax. Because identifying our emotion gives us the power to act, we can take responsibility for our own happiness. Taking responsibility makes all the difference between TO UNDERGO And ACT. It seems easy to become aware of our emotions and feelings, but it requires practice. I'll share with you a little trick that I used when I was starting out. Every time I went to the bathroom, to wash my hands, I became aware of my feelings. Sometimes I was excited, engaged, or calm. And other times I was bored, tired, stressed, etc. In the beginning, it took a lot of time, but it quickly became a pleasant, quality time alone with myself.
2nd obstacle to communication: The judgments
Judgments are based on the interpretation of reality. But how can we ensure that we don't fall into judgments? By basing ourselves solely on the FACTS, incontestable by all. What could we say about the following photo? What do we know? Can you guess how this person is feeling?
The only thing that can be done AFFIRM, is that Annie is sitting on a park bench, alone, and she is holding her forehead with her hand. That doesn't give much information, does it? If we have a hunch that she is feeling unwell, we can always check with Annie. She can then, if she wishes, correct our perception.
Think and listen, find the solution for the other
Sometimes when you see two people arguing, you see one respond to the other without actually listening. Neither listens to the other. In fact, they listen so they can respond.
Listening is the greatest gift we can give to another. But what does it mean to truly listen?
- First, be silent
- Listen to others with respect, without judgment
- And without thinking about his place. How detestable it is to receive advice when you haven't asked for it!
Listening is not:
- Interrupt
- Ask questions to learn more
- Giving advice: “You should do this and that…”
- Make a judgment
- Bringing things back to oneself: “Well, I’m better, but…”
- Think at the same time about what you should answer
The next time you have to meet with an employee, partner, or colleague, try this technique:
- Determine how you feelWhat emotion are you experiencing? Take responsibility of your happiness. Is there anything you can do to reduce your anxiety, worry, or other feelings?
- Take the time to do this exercise
- Go meet the person you were meant to meet taking care to really listen.
If you want to improve your communication skills, this training will be able to fully support you:
Being an exceptional leader.
